Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Well.

I think about Life a lot. You can consider me having been hit by a massive lightning bolt of undesired awareness, making me walk along a quest for clues and insights that would give me some understanding of this massive blip of a cosmic event.

Most probably, it is nothing.




`

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Who is not me...

Sometimes i do not recognise myself
As if it is a new world
And i am in possession
By some person
who is not me...

Sometimes, i remember things
which seem so distant and vague
As if, those memories are not mine
They belong to someone else
Who I do not know





Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Of a song...




Once, i heard a beautiful little song being played on the piano, and it appeared to me as if the sound was sadness itself -  the sorrowful acceptance of all the hurts and aches that life presents to any soul with some awareness... The slow melody of the piano that echoed that acceptance in such a simple way, made the soul walk with it into the dense forest of remembrance of this lifetime... and beyond...

Nothing takes away the vacuum of a lost touch, a voice, a face... a beautiful pair of brown eyes... 


All that remains is that which has always existed, and some fresh new salty dews in the eyes, in the darkness of a quiet inner world, closed to everyone but the absent one...


Is the sea full of tears, or are our tears full of the sea... Where do our memories go once we disappear into the darkness of death. Does it go sleep in the depths of the oceans, to rest itself and settle down, and become the force of gravity that pulls everything inside so powerfully...


The keys of the piano keep playing the same slow sombre song, that keeps reminding me of those stories that once wove into my being...



Monday, June 3, 2013

The Untouched Core

All my dreams seem so silly now.
Now that i have opened my eyes,
Cleared my drowsy head
and seen the world without glasses.

A reality that may not even exist
In the way we have known forever
All the tales and sagas of ages old
May have been so futilely told...

If i close my eyes 
And remain silent

By the sea
under the stars

Can i then touch the core
And remember all truths of yours
- Of the origin of life
Of souls on earth and their secrets inside..?

All is transient, all is unreal
What is life, what is death
Why we love, why we fear
What is the meaning of our tears...?



Sunday, May 20, 2012

Wise Man says...


" HEYAM DUKKHAM ANAGATAM "
A short conversation on Life and its Meaning

Wise Man: In existentialism, the individual's starting point is characterized by what has been called "the existential attitude", or a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world.

Camus, like many others, rejected the existentialist label, and considered his works to be concerned with facing the absurd. In the titular book, Camus uses the analogy of the Greek myth of Sisyphus to demonstrate the futility of existence. In the myth, Sisyphus is condemned for eternity to roll a rock up a hill, but when he reaches the summit, the rock will roll to the bottom again. Camus believes that this existence is pointless but that Sisyphus ultimately finds meaning and purpose in his task, simply by continually applying himself to it. The first half of the book contains an extended rebuttal of what Camus took to be existentialist philosophy in the works of Kierkegaard, Shestov, Heidegger, and Jaspers.



Me: I guess i will have to read the book to make sense how Sisyphus finds meaning in the pointless task. May be, the best solution for humanity is a resignation to life's meaninglessness and in this situation try to have all the fun and follow all the passions that one has... since there is nothing better to do anyway.


Wise Man: That is escapism or evading looking further and harder! Existentialism is a  philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

You are blessed with  (or condemned to?) Freedom and can not escape the consequences of your choices. Realizing the existential crisis is the first half of the story but having woken up to the reality of it, it just is not possible to sleep walk through life, if you want to do so.


Me: Yes, we cant sleepwalk through life... and we have to bear the consequences of our acts (and thoughts), as well as that of others' acts & thoughts, whether we are connected to them or not.. A person can lose his life/become handicapped in an accident with a complete stranger for no fault of his... So, we dont really have as much Freedom as we wud like to believe we have... this world is such an interconnected grid of cause-effects... in which i have control over only a part... 


So, may be, ignorance is bliss. Existential questions does nobody any good.... it is without end, these questions... and, those who have them... have no choice but to suffer.


Wise Man: Yes, you bring out the "absurd" kernel of life, which says that there is absolutely no rationale, and cause and effect chain stops at the boundary between objective inanimate world and, sensing, feeling, world of living beings.  Freedom, you may look at it as a curse , yet you can not opt for desirable (?) bondage of  ignorance. Knowledge, awareness of one's situation and even conviction about the "absurdity'" is a cross and you have to bear it ! I totally agree...

So one Indian thought is " The best you can do is to minimize the sorrow that has not befallen yet !

" HEYAM DUKKHAM ANAGATAM "

HEYAM  = worthy of avoiding
DUKKHAM = Sorrow
ANAGATAM = That which has not arrived yet

{ Thanks for this opprtunity to exercise those cells and memory locations and thoughts which are endangerd species ! }


Me: Absolutely, i am your student! Thanks...

***


End Note: Camus concludes "one must imagine Sisyphus happy" as "The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart."

More on Sisyphus here.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

On going away...


When i die... perhaps my life force shall flow into the world - to the soil, to the trees and flowers, to ants and beetles, to the air, to space and the stars...

May be, i shall be the wind that blows on a bright moon night, somewhere near my home... and i bring the sweet smell of the flowers... to my loved ones... 


...perhaps...


Friday, May 11, 2012

Ancient sounds...

In the middle of the night, there's a thunderstorm and I can hear the rain falling outside my window... The noise of the thunder from the skies seep into my bedroom uninvited, and the lightnings ravish the darkness of a tired monday night about to go to sleep... All the unlocked doors are slamming noisily on their hinges… trash of tin and metal are banging around wildly in the backyard... i can hear the leaves rustling and shivering in the boughs, like a branch of dead leaves being dragged noisily across the ground... Somehow the sounds of nature seem so primitive, as if I have been hearing them since centuries… how old am i....?
......