On going away...

When i die... perhaps my life force shall flow into the world - to the soil, to the trees and flowers, to ants and beetles, to the air, to space and the stars...

May be, i shall be the wind that blows on a bright moon night, somewhere near my home... and i bring the sweet smell of the flowers... to my loved ones... 

...perhaps...

SOUL-BREAKING. Dido.

Speeches wont be made today, clocks will carry on

Flowers wont be left in parks, work will still be done

People wont be dressed in black, and babies will be born

No flags will fly, the sun will rise,

But we know that you are gone...

It wakes me every night, thinking through the day

Did you stop at any time, have doubts at any stage?

Were you calm or were you numb, or happy just to get it done?

Well I've lived my life without regret

until today...

I didnt get to say goodbye, the day before the day

Was trying to get to work on time, and thats why i turned away

And missed the most important thing, you've ever tried to say

Well I've lived my life without regret... until today...

You who love to love, and believed we can never give enough

And you who hoped that underneath, we all felt the same

That was until the day before the day...

The day before the day...

Marcus

Under the dim lights...

Kaise kahein alvida, mehram...

   

 jo bhi bichde, woh kab mile hain, faraz 

phir bhi tu intezaar kar... shayad...

    

Anni

 The Two Faces of My Girlfriend (2007 Korean movie)

Anni: Do u believe in god?

Guchang: I don’t know

Anni: This isn’t fair. He created us flawed. We should be recalled.

G: Recalled?

Anni: Yes. He might’ve forgotten about us... Should we remind him?

G: I wish I knew how.

Anni: Its easy. Watch me. 
(looks up to the sky and shouts) I do exist! 
 I..        DO…        EXIST!

 ***

There’s this song called… “Love is like raindrops outside the window”.

Question! Why is love like raindrops outside the window?

Because they evaporate! 
Not only do they evaporate… 
they leave stains behind. 
That’s love.
~Anni

***

You know what? I feel as if I never existed. 
My heart evaporating into nothing… 
You never felt that?
~Anni

 ***

Anni: What’s the relationship between us?

G: You’re the cigarrete and I’m an ashtray.

Anni: Why am I a cigarette?

G: Because I house the trouble that you cause.

Anni: So if I burn all the way, you’ll throw me away?

G: How can an ashtray throw a cigarette?

Anni: (smiles) You’re right.

 ***

Uncertain Story of a Dark Rainy Night

Such a dark night it was, i still remember. I looked up at the sky from my bedroom window, and i could make out no star, no moon, not a flicker of any remnant of a light there might have been in the vast expanse above. Moments later, when i heard the thunder growling angrily, i realised how the dark clouds had covered all the goodness of the night sky. I waited. The rain should come falling down anytime now, i thought. Let it wash away the dust from the roofs of the forgotten cars, from the hidden crevices of the window sills, and from the very soil of the earth itself. Let it satiate the thirsty leaves of the tired trees and let it set free the desolate souls lying awake at this time of the night in their impoverished hopes.

I waited patiently. Let the rain come and play its music in the air. Let it drown all the echoes of the ages that have settled so stubbornly in various nooks and corners of the musty room inside my head. I need to get rid of them. I need some silence... And so i waited quietly... in anticipation and in some graceless impatience.

The very next moment, a lightning flashed and illuminated my dark room for a second. It took me some time to realise it, but i couldnt be mistaken... i clearly saw someone sitting in the corner next to the old wooden cupboard...

He was here. How did i miss it for so long, or did he just come in... I sat tensed and still for sometime in this sudden knowledge, and waited... "May be he will say something, I don't want to be distracted and miss his words. I have been waiting to hear the words for so long..." My heartbeats were gone for a toss, may be to some inhuman rate of pulsation, coz i could not breathe anymore, and yet, i was conscious and sparklingly more alive than usual. Was the oxygen in the air a little manipulated, or was i actually weightless...

Hours passed. We both kept sitting in the dark in each other's presence... not saying a word, yet saying everything..  all our heartaches, the missed tales, the unshared secrets... Rain had come and gone. The night was about to end, and suddenly, i feared the onslaught of the harsh dawn that would empty that corner of my room where he now sat. The bliss of his presence, the overflowing love in the room and his smell..... i couldnt bear to lose them... not again. No, they have to stay.

And even as a slight drizzle continued to wet and patter, I knew what i had to do... it was time...

It is all right and correct now. The world is alright now. The morning arrived, and my room was quite empty...

baarish

Der tak baithe hue,

dono ne baarish dekhi...

Wo dikhati thi mujhe, bijli ke taaro pe

latakti hui boondein,
jo taqub me thi ek dusre ke..
Aur ek dusre ko chhute hi, 

taaro se tapak jati thi..

Mujhko yeh fikr ke bijli ka current
chu gaya nangi kisi taar se toh
aag ke lag jane ka bhayas hoga...

Usne kaagaz ki kai kashtiyaan paani me utaari,
Aur ye keh ke baha di ke..

samander me milenge...

Mujhko ye fikr, ke is baar bhi

sailab ka paani...
Kud ke utrega kohsahr se jab..
tod ke le jayega

yeh kachhe kinaare..

Ouk me bharke wo barsaat ka paani...
adhbhari jheelon ko tarsaati rahi..
Wo bohut choti thi, kamsin thi,
woh masoom bohut thi..
Aavisharon ke tarannum pe
kadam rakhti thi... aur goonjti thi..

Aur main umr ke ifkaar me ghoom...
tajurbe-humraah liye...,
saath hi saath mein
behta hua...chalta hua... behta gaya....

Gulzar (Kab Aate Ho)